


Thy Wish Is My Command

by dogmaticdeux



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Fluff, M/M, Master & Servant, Mentions of Uruki, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Smut, Strip Tease, prince Ruki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 07:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17300063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogmaticdeux/pseuds/dogmaticdeux
Summary: His smile was gentle, as was the way in which he held Takanori’s hand. Just as gentle as his name.Yuu.His smile was warm and genuine, and it made Takanori’s heart flutter like crazy. Just like it always did when Yuu dared to look at him, instead of lower his head. Takanori had meant to chastise him for it, but somehow, he always got lost in those eyes. Those eyes, which shone as uniquely as his silver hair.“The moon,” Takanori breathed.Yuu gave him a crooked smile. “Your majesty?”Again, his cheeks burned, this time from embarrassment. He hadn't meant to voice his thoughts that had flooded him as he had looked at Yuu. At his silver hair. He had always envied him for the unique color of his hair. He had always tried to find comparisons to describe the color, but had never quite been able to pinpoint it. Until now.“The color of your hair. It looks like the moon.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the Aoiki Royal AU that nobody asked for and that was inspired by a friend's comment (looking @ you, Ao) and spiraled out of control lmao. This got way longer and waaaay angstier than I anticipated. And I truly fell in love with it. So if people like it, I might turn this into a whole story haha who knows. But for now, I hope you guys will enjoy it~
> 
> I also decided to split it into two parts because it's just so goddamn long lol

I

 

_Just smile, Matsumoto. This whole ordeal will be over before you know it._

With a deep sigh to steady himself and calm his shaky fingers, Takanori adjusted his black robes, then tightened the band that kept his hair up in a high ponytail. He nodded at Hiro and Kansuke, two of their oldest and most loyal servants. They bowed to him respectfully, then pushed open the heavy doors of dark wood for him. The background noises of loud chatter he had heard all throughout the hallway got thrown in his face tenfold, and he cringed. He took a deep breath, forced his lips into a smile, and entered.

The noise died down as soon as the guests took notice of his arrival. Head held up high, he pushed past a bunch of well-dressed members of the aristocracy, not paying any of them any mind. He felt their gazes on him with every step he took into the hall, the sound of his footsteps with the slight clicking of his heels the only sound echoing from the marble floor. His heart beating rapidly, he steered towards a smiling couple. The nearer he got, the more clearly he could see the falsity of their smiles. Their smiles which were just as forced as his own while their eyes watched his every step like that of hawks, signaling him to better not make a single mistake and embarrass them in front of the most respected people of the high society.

God, he had always hated these parties.

Coming to a halt in front of his parents, he bowed deeply to showcase a respect he had never felt for them. For any of those people. “Mother, father,” he greeted them, the fake smile cutting into his cheeks like a knife.

They gave him but a nod that meekly noted his existence, and stiffly, Takanori took his place to his father’s left. The eyes of everyone were plastered onto him; some were whispering on the quiet. Most likely, they were judging him. He had always been judged, always been mocked for being different. For being small and scrawny while his parents were both of a tall, athletic built. His mother’s maiden and midwife had once explained to him that it was quite normal for a premature child to have a smaller built, and that his parents could consider themselves lucky he had made it in the first place. However, they had never made him feel that way. They had never made him feel particularly loved, had always treated him like a burden when they hadn’t dumped him off to be taken care of by his nursemaid.

Aimlessly, he let his eyes wander around the big ballroom. Numbly, he glanced at the beautiful people dressed in beautiful clothes. Carelessly, he blinked at the golden splendor of the big chandeliers, and the magnificence of the paintings which decorated the huge walls. Indifferently, he skimmed over the rows of tables lined up along the walls, laid with the most exquisite delicacies, and the most expensive wines. Mutely, he watched their neatly dressed servants as they snuck around the guests like shadows, carrying heavy silver trays filled with beverages and appetizers.

Finally, his gaze halted on one particular servant. A tall, handsome young man with silver hair and plush lips. Just like the other servants, he was wearing a simple black and white kimono. Like the other servants, he was wearing white gloves and carrying a silver tray. But unlike the other servants, he was moving with an elegance that was more prone to the people of the high society, and not people of the commonality.

Takanori felt his heart skip a beat as the servant drew nearer, his dark brown eyes glued to him. It was as though he was looking at no one but him, as though no one else existed in the room besides him. It made his stomach flutter, and his palms grow sweaty. In front of them, he bowed deftly, keeping the tray steady as he did so. “Your majesty,” he greeted him, then offered the tray to him. Silently, Takanori took a glass of champagne from him. The servant with the silver hair bowed again. When he straightened back up, the most breathtaking smile adorned his face. And again, Takanori felt as though his smile was reserved for no one but him. He felt himself blush, and quickly looked away. He didn’t even understand why he always got so flustered whenever the silver-haired servant paid him any mind. Which, of course he did, since he was working for him. Takanori was truly pathetic, but even that knowledge couldn’t keep his cheeks from burning up yet again.

When he retreated to mingle with the other servants again and take care of the other guests, Takanori felt a rush of disappointment jolt through him. To distract himself from those ridiculous feelings, he tightened his grip around the glass, meanwhile the fingers of his other hand delved into the fabric of his robes. From the corner of his eye, he saw his father raise his own glass. “This night we celebrate my son. My heir, my only child. Your crown prince.”

Takanori felt himself stiffen at the words. In a trance, he watched all the guests raise their glass to him, and a wave of cheering broke out. He bit down on his tongue until it hurt, then bowed down as deeply as he could manage. He felt tears of frustration and loneliness prick at the corners of his eyes, but by the time he had straightened up, any trace of emotion had vanished from his face. He was so tired of this. Of this life, of this farce, of this castle. Everything in it felt cold and lifeless. He himself felt cold and lifeless. And he knew that he was doomed to live in this hell forever. He had never wanted to be a prince; the heir of the ruler of this nation. He had always despised it. He knew that other people would have sold their souls to be him, but he couldn’t care less about all the wealth and glamour. He was sick of it.

He was sick of all these pretentious people that walked up to him, bowed, wished him a happy birthday, and then just turned their backs on him. He knew none of them meant what they said. He knew none of them cared about him. None of them gave a damn about his existence, not even his own parents. All they cared about were the duties he would one day fulfill. The claims he held to the throne of this nation. He was just a puppet to them. A faceless marionette born to do their bidding. Soon, he would be married off to a stranger for even more wealth, and even more power. He would share a bed with a person he didn’t love, be forced to produce heirs to secure the reign of his family. That was all he was good for.

It was all people saw in him.

He took a big gulp of his champagne, and sat down next to his father on his throne. Emotionlessly, he accepted the gifts people brought him. Not that they meant anything to him; he had all the money in the world to buy everything his heart desired. Still, he knew he was required to smile at them all. To thank everyone for their ‘thoughtfulness’, but most of all for their service for this country. This day was as much about his birthday as any marriage would be about love. This day wasn’t about him. It was about politics. Nothing more, and nothing less. It was about showing how healthy the crown prince was. About how he was more than ready to marry as soon as a good catch presented itself.

He had countless of young, beautiful men and women lining up in front of his throne, all eyeing him like a piece of meat. Like a trophy. He felt their lips press against the back of his hand, and shuddered at every single one of them. Felt his heart numb more and more with every face he flashed a fake smile. He knew more than one of those people would propose to him starting the very next day. After all, he had finally reached the marriageable age.

“Stop pulling such a face! It’s unbecoming of a member of the royal family!” his father hissed at him, and Takanori narrowed his eyes as he turned his head towards him. The disapproving look on his face made boiling hot anger flow through him, but he kept quiet. He knew he wasn’t allowed to cause a scene. To show any emotions. To do anything but nod and smile politely. Because God forbid he had an agenda of his own. He wasn’t supposed to have one. He wasn’t allowed to make his own decisions, to live his own life. To have his own feelings.

He didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to do nothing more but yell at his father, scream out all his pain and frustration. But he knew he couldn’t. He was stuck in this hell, and there was no way out for him. He had learnt to accept this a long time ago. So like a good little soldier, he straightened up, and plastered the fakest smile he could conjure up on his face. His father acknowledged it with a disgruntled huff. Then, his attention got pulled away from Takanori when the next congratulant stepped forward.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you, your majesty.”

The melodic voice caught Takanori off guard. He turned his head around, frowned, and scrutinized the man in front of him. He was of tall built, his features manly and yet extraordinarily beautiful. He was wearing a black military uniform, which was highly decorated with any and all honorary medals. His smile was warm, his eyes, however, were dark and distant. Calculating, like those of a military operator. “My name is Takashima Kouyou,” he introduced himself with a deep bow; his black hat remained perfectly in place on his equally black strands as he did so. Then, he seized Takanori’s hand and brought it to his lips. “You’re even more beautiful in person, if I dare say so.”

Takanori felt himself blush, and yanked his hand away. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and kept his gaze downcast. He decided he didn’t like Takashima Kouyou at all. His words were like honey, luring in an unwitting insect with the sweetest nectar like a carnivorous plant. He had met many silver-tongued people in his life, but none seemed as eloquent as Kouyou. Takanori didn’t like it.

“My, you seem to be rather shy,” Kouyou laughed. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small box.

The frown deepening, Takanori watched in apprehension as Kouyou lifted the lid off the box, revealing a big, beautiful ring. The diamonds that were embedded in the silver shone iridescent; normally, Takanori would have marveled at such an astounding piece of jewelry. However, he felt nothing but wariness as he regarded Kouyou, who silently reached out to him, that warm smile still on his painted black lips. Again, he grabbed his hand, this time to slide the ring on his finger expertly.

“Happy birthday, my prince. I would be deeply honored to be able to call such beauty mine one day,” said Kouyou, before he pressed another kiss to the ring on Takanori’s finger. The ring which lay heavy around his finger, like a weight that pulled him down. “I beg you to consider my humble self to become the man at your side.” With that, he rose, bowed to Takanori’s parents, and left.

Dumbfounded, as though he was caught in a dream (more precise, a nightmare), Takanori stared at his back as Kouyou retreated. Had he just proposed to him? With the most garish piece of jewelry he had ever seen? He felt himself gag at the thought, and instinctively, he wiped the back of his hand on his black robes to clean it of the lingering sensation of Kouyou’s lips. He wanted to pull the ring off his finger, but he knew how improper that was. How disrespectful. The ring was just another cuff that chained him to this life full of pretense. He felt an all too familiar feeling of despair well up inside of him, and busied himself with looking around the room to calm his agitated mind.

His gaze found his silver-haired servant across the room, who was also staring at Kouyou. He seemed to have watched the whole scene, and a deep frown was edged into his forehead. His gorgeous features showed a mixture of disgust and anger as he regarded the tall man. Then, his gaze shifted, and met that of Takanori. For a moment, they silently shared a look. His anger seemed to melt away and make way for something else. Was that sympathy showing in those dark eyes? Takanori felt indignation at that thought. He didn’t need the sympathies of his servant, no matter how beautiful he was. He was a prince, and a damn proud one at that. Angrily, he lifted his chin up and tore his eyes away. How dared his servant even return his gaze in the first place?

Normally, Takanori was no one to look down on other people. Normally, he would have been more than excited to be sharing a look with the silver-haired. But right now, focusing on his anger somehow helped him feel less miserable about himself. Less undignified. Less out of control of his own life, his own actions, his own body.

Though he was prevented from thinking about it more in-depth as the huge doors swung open again, and about a dozen Geishas entered the room. Takanori frowned as he studied their elaborate kimonos, their black hair and their painted-white faces. He had been wondering about the whereabouts of his father’s own stab of Geishas, but had neglected to ask him about it.

The whole thing became clear to him as the Geishas strode into the middle of the room, where they took position. “This is for you, son,” his father whispered, his eyes glued to the young women. Takanori looked around the room, and noticed how every pair of eyes were on the Geishas. It was unusual for them to be put on display like this, with a scheduled appearance and all, but Takanori understood that this was his father’s idea of a big surprise. Of a nice show to give his son. He cringed inwardly, and just watched silently as they started to dance.

He soon noticed that their dance was less traditional than usual, too. It was much more sensual, almost erotic, had it not been for the kimonos hiding their bodies. Their movements seemed much more aimed to appeal, to arouse even, the swing of their hips reminded him of those movements belly dancers practiced in the near Orient. Natsu, the leading Geisha, was fully focused on him, and he swallowed dryly as she drew near, her hips swaying from one side to the other. She halted right in front of his throne, her body swaying to the music his parents’ very own musicians played. She winked at him (though he could tell just how set in stone her own smile was), then ran her hands up and down the sides of her body to emphasize her feminine curves.

Takanori liked their performance about as much as he liked Takashima Kouyou. Feeling his stomach twist at the weird show, he fought against the urge to avert his gaze and stare elsewhere. He knew he was expected to watch them closely. To feign happiness at their show which his generous father, the king, had ordered for him. The ordeal of faking pleasure while he wanted to do nothing more than throw up on the spot became nearly insufferable for him.

He sighed in relief when the Geishas were done with their elaborate dancing. While the other guests were cheering loudly, giving a round of critical acclaim, he tried to swallow the bile in his throat. He knew what their show had secretly been _really_ about. Not just to appease the guests (especially the countless men), but to remind him of his place in society. Of his duties as the crown prince and future king. He would have to produce an heir in some way or the other sooner or later, no matter his _preferences._ The way in which his parents tried to make women appeal to him, however, made him sick to his stomach. But again, he was left with nothing but a fake smile plastered onto his lips as he thanked the Geishas insincerely.

 “I hope you enjoyed your present,” his father murmured, but his toneless voice betrayed the emotions displayed in his words. As though he cared about whether Takanori liked any of this. If his parents had truly tried to present him with an enjoyable view, they would have at least made the Geishas male.

Unable to do much more, Takanori simply nodded. In response, his father bestowed a content nod upon him. After all, he truly didn’t tolerate his son speaking his mind, and showing ‘disrespect’.

His father’s eyes scrutinized his face for a moment longer, then they dropped to his hand. To the ring Takanori had almost completely forgotten about again. “I bet you’re overjoyed at the prospect of marrying such a renowned man like Takashima Kouyou. He’s going to fit right into our family.”

For a second, Takanori’s fake smile lingered. Then, his father’s words seeped it. “ _Wait, what?_ ” he hissed, uncomprehending of his father’s words.

The king frowned. “You’re gonna marry him, of course,” he said, his voice as sharp as his gaze. “I thought that was rather obvious.”

Takanori’s mouth fell open, and he shook his head in disbelief. The anger reawakened in him, shooting through every fiber of his being. He had known the time would come when he had to marry someone. But he had always thought he at least would have the dignity left to choose that person for himself. However, his father’s words resounded in his head, and the anger in his stomach mixed with bile. “You never said anything about an arranged marriage!” he shot back, panic clawing at his heart. He didn’t want to marry Takashima Kouyou. He didn’t want to marry anyone that wasn’t his choice. He had accepted that he would have to marry someone who he most likely wouldn’t love. But marrying someone he hadn’t even chosen? It was unthinkable for him.

His father’s deadly glare shut him up. “It’s only a matter of time until he proposes to you. And once he does, you’ll accept, whether you want to or not. This is not about you, it’s about your country!”

“I don’t give a shit about this country! What’s it ever done for me?!” Takanori snapped. He jumped to his feet and stormed off before his father could so much as open his mouth to object. He rushed past the guests who shot him surprised looks (no one seemed to have noticed the root of his outburst), meanwhile he blinked repeatedly to keep the tears at bay. Near the entrance, he snatched another glass of champagne from one of the servants, then passed the double doors as he fled the ballroom.

 

II

 

No one stopped him as he rushed through the hallways.

Still he didn’t slow down, not even when he had reached the gardens. He didn’t halt to look at the flowers like he normally would, just kept walking, almost sprinting, until the last ounces of noise from the castle were muffled completely. Exhausted, he dropped down on the bench at one of the ponds. Numb, he stared into the dark water, which got ruffed by a cold wind that tugged at his messy strands of hair and his thin robes. He shuddered, but refused to go back inside. Instead, he raised the glass to his lips, and downed the drink in one go. The champagne prickled in his throat almost softly, and he grunted. He wished he had some sake instead to set his throat ablaze. To burn everything from his mind.

When he noticed his hands trembling (if caused by the coldness or his whirling emotions, he couldn’t tell), he placed the empty glass on the stone bench. The moonlight fell on the ring on his finger, which attracted his attention as it glistened in his vision. With a frustrated cry, he yanked the ring from his finger, and tossed it away carelessly.

“It’s not the ring’s fault, is it?”

Takanori startled, pressing his fingertips to his lips as a scared squeal left his mouth. He felt his cheeks flush and his heart jump out of his chest as he looked up to the person. Silently, the silver-haired man bent down to pick up the ring, walked over to the bench, kneeled down in front of Takanori and placed the ring in the palm of his hand. But when he was done, he didn’t let go of his hand; instead, he took it in both of his hands. “Your hands are freezing, your majesty. You should go inside before you catch a cold.” His voice was soft, as were his hands. He must have taken off his gloves to not dirty them before he had picked up the ring. His smile was gentle, as was the way in which he held Takanori’s hand. Just as gentle as his name.

_Yuu._

Unlike his parents, who could never be bothered with their servants’ names, Takanori had made it an effort to learn each and every one of them. To be able to attribute a name to each of the countless faces. Not that Yuu’s face was as countless and forgettable as the others. It was beautiful, ethereal even. His lips were plush and red, his eyes were gentle and caring. His smile was warm and genuine, and it made Takanori’s heart flutter like crazy. Just like it always did when Yuu dared to look at him, instead of lower his head. Takanori had meant to chastise him for it, but somehow, he always got lost in those eyes. Those eyes, which shone as uniquely as his silver hair.

“The moon,” Takanori breathed.

Yuu gave him a crooked smile. “Your majesty?”

Again, his cheeks burned, this time from embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to say those words out loud. He hadn't meant to voice his thoughts that had flooded him as he had looked at Yuu. At his silver hair. He had always envied him for the unique color of his hair. He had always marveled at it. He had always tried to find comparisons to describe the color, but had never quite been able to pinpoint it. Until now. “The color of your hair. It looks like the moon.”

“Oh.” Yuu’s smile brightened, and he averted his eyes. In a weirdly self-conscious fashion, he lifted his hand to his hair, and pulled at a strand. “It’s quite ugly, isn’t it?” he whispered with a somber expression. When he looked back up at him, the smile had faded from his lips.

Feeling his heart ache at the words and the lack of Yuu’s gorgeous smile, Takanori shook his head. “No, what are you talking about? Why would you say something like that?” He wished he had anything remarkable like that about him. And while he knew that he was quite beautiful himself, he was still ordinary amongst all those equally beautiful people in his class. He lacked any unique features that weren’t his slim built and small size.

This time, a sad smile spread on Yuu’s face. “It’s what other people would always tell me. My hair’s… different. Ugly.” He shrugged almost indifferently. “It’s what everyone keeps saying.”

“They’re lying,” Takanori burst out. The red in his cheeks grew in intensity that he thought Yuu must have been able to see it in the silvery moonlight. “They’re jealous, that’s why they say stuff like that.” He didn’t even know what he was saying. All he knew was that he couldn’t bear this crestfallen look on his servant’s face.

“You’re too kind, your majesty.”

Takanori snorted. “I’m not kind. I’m anything but.”

This time, Yuu’s lips pulled into a confused pout. “I don’t understand why you would say something so wrong.” He shook his head, then took a seat on the bench next to Takanori. He knew he should have objected, he knew it was unbecoming of a servant to sit next to a prince like that. Like they were equals. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Weren’t they exactly that? Equals in the eyes of God? Just two human souls amongst a sheer infinite amount of other souls in this universe, and the next universe?

Staring down at his fist that was clenched around the ring, Takanori uttered a dry laugh. One full of bitterness. “You’re my servant and yet you ask something like that?” He didn’t mean to put Yuu down with his words, to put him into place by reminding him of his status. He was trying to emphasize the crudeness of this world. Of his world. “You’re forced to be at my every beck and call, to fulfill all my wishes, whatever they may be. You’re treated like a lesser form of a living being. Do you call that kind? Would an ant call the giant kind that stepped on it and crushed it beneath his heel?” He kept staring at his lap, too ashamed to look at him.

Yuu’s laughter made his head jerk up. In complete disbelief, he watched as the servant pressed his fist to his lips to stifle his laughter. His cheeks heated up in anger and embarrassment. Here he was, pouring his heart out to him, and Yuu had the audacity to laugh at him? To make fun of him?

However, Yuu gathered himself before Takanori had arranged his thoughts to throw his wrath at him. “You’re wrong, Takanori-sama.” Again, his voice held a gentleness that made his heart quiver, and the way in which he pronounced his name made his stomach flutter. “I’m not at your beck and call because you forced me to. I am because I want to serve you. To fulfill your wishes and ensure your happiness brings me the utmost joy. You’re not a giant that squats his servants beneath his heel, as you claim. You’re kind, and caring. You show each of us a gentleness we wouldn’t experience elsewhere. You don’t treat us like lesser beings. You never treated me that way. On the contrary, you were the one who saved me. Who took me in and accepted me as your servant, even though I was untrained. You gave me so many possibilities. And you didn’t do it for your own personal gain. With all due respect, I don’t think there’s much you’d gain from a simple man as me. And yet you still took me in even though your parents were against it.” Yuu paused, giving him a silent smile. “You didn’t do all that because you were looking to gain anything from me. You did it out of the kindness of your soul. So, seeing you happy is all I am wishing for. It fills me with pride to be allowed to work for you.”

Takanori was so in awe at Yuu’s heartfelt words that he didn’t notice his smile waver at first. Only when Yuu’s eyes locked with his did he read the sadness in them. “But you’re not happy, are you, Takanori-sama? You haven’t been for a long time.”

“It’s not your place to say something like that.” He wanted to sound angry, wanted to regain some of his dignity he felt Yuu had stripped off him until he was completely bared. But his words didn’t come out harsh as he had intended them to be. They sounded as broken as he felt. He knew that Yuu was right. And it hurt to hear those words out loud.

Yuu bowed deeply. “I’m sorry, your majesty. I was out of line. I beg your pardon.” His words were genuine, but his eyes burned with a defiance that rattled Takanori to the bone. That made something inside of him crack.

Weighing the ring in his hand, he pressed his lips into a thin line. “You were out of line. But you weren’t wrong,” he breathed wearily. He didn’t dare look at Yuu as he twisted the ring between his fingertips. “You must take me for a spoiled brat. The prince with his perfect life complaining about not being happy. It’s truly pathetic.”

Again, Yuu startled him as he seized his hand. As he once more blurred the lines between them. “It’s not pathetic. And I never thought your life to be perfect.” For a moment, his thumb painted soothing circles on the back of Takanori’s hand. “To be honest, I don’t envy you for your life, your majesty. I never did. I’ve learnt as a little boy that money doesn’t buy happiness. Even the biggest castles with the most servants feel empty and cold when you’re lonely. When you don’t have anyone to share all of this with.” As though he had finally realized what he was doing, Yuu pulled his hand back. He cleared his throat in embarrassment, and stared out onto the pond.

For a while, Takanori simply watched how loose strands of his silvery hair got blown around in the freezing wind. He hadn’t even noticed the cold anymore ever since Yuu had joined him outside. His whole body had been filled with a warmth he couldn’t even begin to describe. Yuu had hit the bullseye with his words. Takanori couldn’t even recall how many times he had wished for a friend, a lover, anyone to bond with. Anyone to share his very soul with. To chase the loneliness away. But in this glamorous world of kings and prestige, all of those bonds were superficial and fake. To his parents, no one had ever been good enough to be Takanori’s friend when he had been younger. To be his confidant. When he had gotten older, he had been swamped with his duties as the crown prince. Even if he had had any friends, he wouldn’t have had time to dedicate it to them.

His whole life he had been lonely and miserable.

Startled, he hastily wiped away the single tear escaping his eye. “I don’t expect much anymore,” he murmured. He had forsaken any longing for friends a long while ago. He was sure to never meet anyone he could fall in love with; at least no one he could spend his life with. Someone he could be with openly. Someone his parents would ever approve of. “I’ve come to terms with my life. There’s just no room for happiness in it.” He shrugged. He tried to flash Yuu a smile, but the corners of his mouth refused their service; as though they were sick from all the forced smiling he had done all night. “It would’ve been nice to have _one_ person congratulate me sincerely. To get _one_ gift that isn’t meaningless like all the others.” He shrugged again, then snorted. “Now that was a vain thing to say, wasn’t it?” Ashamed, he stared down at the ring between his fingers. He gnawed at his lip in contemplation, before he wound up, and threw the ring into the pond. He didn’t care if he would anger his parents. Or Takashima Kouyou. He was so tired of this pretentious life.

Worried that Yuu finally had enough of him, he returned his gaze to his servant. He was staring at him quietly, a pensive expression on his face. Heart racing incessantly, he watched as Yuu reached for his own neck. He pulled the fabric of his black kimono top aside, revealing a silver necklace. Tenderly, his fingertips caressed the cross, before he brought his other hand up to his neck as well. His fingers glided to his nape, and he fumbled around with the clasp. When he was done, he pulled the necklace from his neck. He bent over to Takanori, who gasped as Yuu got close to him. His heart skipped a beat, before it seemed to race even faster than before. He began to hold his breath as Yuu drew nearer, placing the necklace around his neck. He shut the clasp, adjusted the necklace around Takanori’s neck, and the cross on his chest. “Happy birthday, Takanori-sama,” he whispered in a low voice, before he withdrew from him. His smile was as happy as it was content.

Automatically, Takanori’s hand shot up to his throat, and he felt the necklace that now lay around his neck. The silver was warm from having absorbed Yuu’s body temperature, and unlike Kouyou’s ring, it didn’t feel heavy at all. It felt as though it was a part of him. Speechless and dumbfounded, he just stared at Yuu, meanwhile he continued to fumble around with the cross around his neck.

“I’m sorry, it’s not much,” Yuu said silently. “But it’s my most valued possession. My mother gave it to me. It’s all I have left of her. Whenever I feel lonely, I just touch it and remind myself that no matter where I go, and no matter how lonely I feel, she’s always with me.”

Takanori inhaled sharply at his words. “I can’t accept it. I could never take this from you.” Immediately, his fingers darted to the clasp on his nape, ready to undo it and hand the necklace back to Yuu.

As quick as his own hands had been, Yuu bent forward to seize his wrists and keep him from undoing the clasp. “I insist. I want you to have it. I don’t need it anymore.” He averted his eyes, and Takanori swore he could see his cheeks redden under the pale moonlight. “I haven’t felt lonely in a long time… not ever since I’ve started working for you, Takanori-sama.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he confessed to him, while he kept his gaze downcast.

“I don’t deserve you.” The words had left his lips before he had even grasped their meaning with his mind. In shock, Takanori pressed his lips shut as he watched Yuu’s eyes widen. He lifted his head to look at him, an unreadable expression on his face. And yet, it was weirdly see-through at the same time. As though Takanori had told a lie. As though he had said something so preposterous, so outrageous and unbecoming of the crown prince, it couldn’t even be put into words. He also knew that it was the truth. Just like he knew that he didn’t care.

“Your majesty, you’re too-“

“No!” Sternly but softly, Takanori interrupted him. Almost apprehensively, he caressed the cross around his neck. “Don’t give me that ‘you’re too kind’ crap. It’s not true. I’m not some benevolent Samaritan that took you in out of the kindness of my heart. I did it out of personal gain. Because you’re nice to look at. Because you do whatever I tell you to do, without so much as questioning it. That’s not kindness, that’s exploitation. I’m not kind, I’m selfish.” He barely even realized how his words were a meek attempt to struggle against these emotions boiling up inside of him. He needed Yuu to hate him, to at least dislike him or resent him. He needed him to see that he wasn’t good for him. Yuu was better off feeling these things about someone else. Someone more deserving.

Yuu shook his head. “I told you before, your majesty. I’m not fulfilling your wishes because you force me to. Even if it’s my job, I never saw it that way. I’m doing these things because I want to.”

Takanori groaned as desperation clawed at his heart. He couldn’t open himself up to the things Yuu was saying. He wasn’t allowed to. And yet, he wanted to do nothing more. It frightened him. It drove him angry and mad that he couldn’t simply go after what he wanted, after what he longed for. “Stop it! A kind person would never treat someone else like their personal slave.” He had never really liked how his parents and everyone else in their society treated people of lower status. Maybe it was because even despite all the wealth and power he held, in the end, he was just as prone to misery and loneliness as any ordinary man. In the end, every grave was the same size. And still, he had accepted the hierarchy he had been born into without a second thought. He surrounded himself with servants, tolerated all those rich people looking down and spitting on them. How was he any better?

“You’re not selfish,” Yuu objected firmly. “Why are you saying these things about yourself?”

“Because they’re true!” Takanori hissed. In a fit of rage, he grabbed the empty glass of champagne, and smashed it against the side of the bench. The shards fell to the ground like hail, with only the stem remaining in his hand. With shaky fingers, he guided it to his other hand. He heard Yuu gasp, but ignored him as he pierced the index finger of his left hand with the sharp edge of the stem. He winced as he felt the glass cut his skin, and bit down on his lip to keep in the whimper. When he was done, he threw the stem to the ground. A pearl of blood oozed out of the cut on his finger, and for a second, he marveled in the dark red that shone beneath the moonlight.

Insistent to prove his point, he raised his injured finger. “Take care of it,” he ordered Yuu in a rough voice. He needed him to understand that his views were wrong. Takanori was no one to be admired, to be thanked. He was as vile as every other member of the high society.

Distraught, Yuu looked at his face, before his gaze shifted to his injured finger. Then, he pulled out a clean tissue to wrap it around his finger. However, Takanori pulled his hand back, narrowing his eyes at Yuu almost threateningly. “Do you want it to get infected?!” he pressed out through gritted teeth; partly from the pain, and partly from his inner turmoil. He hated himself in this moment, hated himself more than he had ever done before. But he had to push through for Yuu to understand.

His dark eyes returned to Takanori’s face, before they fell back onto his index finger. Without hesitation, Yuu seized his hand, brought it to his lips, and stuck his finger into his mouth. Takanori was barely able to hold in the moan as he felt him give his finger a light suck, before the tip of his tongue licked his fingertip repeatedly. Thereby, Yuu kept staring into his eyes, his face expressionless again. Takanori gasped, feeling his body shudder and his blood rush down. His dick throbbed at the sensation of Yuu licking and sucking on his finger, and he dug the nails of his free hand into his thigh to ground himself somehow.

When he considered his treatment enough, Yuu pulled his finger out of his mouth, and inspected it shortly. “That should help close up the cut,” he said unbearably matter-of-factly. As though he wasn’t weirded out in the slightest. Or disgusted. Or indignant. He retrieved the tissue, and carefully wrapped it around Takanori’s finger. “You should be more careful, your majesty,” he chided him in a soft tone, as though the whole thing had been an accident.

Angrily, Takanori yanked his hand away. “See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t even question the shit I make you do! Why didn’t you just yell at me? Why did you just-?!” His voice broke and he dug his teeth into his lower lip. He didn’t understand how Yuu could be this patient. This compliant. This magnanimous. He didn’t deserve any of it. Fighting against his tears of frustration, he intertwined his fingers in his lap. His fingers, his shoulders, his whole body started to shake in his agitation.

“I think we should go inside,” Yuu simply said, completely ignoring Takanori’s outburst. “You’re freezing. Even if you vouched for me, I don’t think your majesties would let me stay any longer if I let you get sick on my watch. Not that I’d forgive myself for it.” Gingerly, he placed his fingers below Takanori’s chin to lift his head up, where he was met with Yuu’s kind smile. “Your guests are probably missing you as well. And I think your father has another surprise for you.” He cringed at those words, mirroring the exact same dislike Takanori had felt back in the ballroom as he had observed the dancers.

Feeling his shoulders slouch in defeat, Takanori let Yuu help him to his feet without complaint. “You don’t sound too fond of the Geishas,” he mumbled.

Yuu laughed quietly. His laughter was the most melodic sound Takanori had ever heard. “I fear I’m crossing the line again while saying this but… I think even I could do better than that.”

Raising his eyebrow quizzically, Takanori imagined Yuu dancing. Alas, he could not picture it, no matter how hard he tried to. No matter how much the fluttering returned to his stomach at the thought. No matter how much he craved to see Yuu dance as sensually as the Geishas had done in the ballroom. He would have to see it with his own eyes if he were to believe it.

He voiced none of those things as he let Yuu guide him back inside.

 

III

 

With a grunt, Yuu threw the towel onto the kitchen table and dropped down on one of the chairs. Exhausted, he buried his face in his hands, rubbing his sore eyelids. No matter how much fun big parties like that brought the guests and hosts, it was always a hassle for the servants. Not that he minded doing this for his master, if only he had been happier about his birthday party. Happier in general. Yuu didn’t think he had ever seen Takanori smile in the few years he had now worked for his family.

Well, that wasn’t correct. He had seen him smile. He had seen that fake smile of his over and over and over again. He hated it, hated it more than anything. All he wanted Takanori to do was smile genuinely at least once. To witness it with his own eyes. But Yuu knew how foolish that thought was. With a sigh, he instinctively reached for his mother’s necklace, but halted in his movement as he remembered that he had given it to Takanori.

His stomach fluttered unbearably as always as he reminisced about their meeting in the garden. About how they had been so close, with no one else around to disturb them. In that moment, when Takanori had been so near, when he had accepted the necklace from Yuu, it had felt like paradise on earth. He knew he was foolish to ever expect more than this. To try and interpret anything into it. But at the same time, he didn’t care. Maybe this was all he would ever get. It still made him incredibly happy. After all, it was more than he had ever expected. More than he could have ever dreamed of.

“Stop daydreaming and help us clean up!” Akira, one of his fellow servants and friends, hit him over the head with his own towel.

“How am I supposed to daydream in the middle of the night?”

“Shut up or I’ll kick your ass.”

Yuu rolled his eyes. With a grunt, he scrambled back to his feet, which were as sore as the rest of his body. Though somehow, he didn’t even feel the exhaustion. He was far too occupied _day_ dreaming about Takanori to care about his fatigue. Or about his tiring work. He had never minded his work whenever he so much as thought about Takanori. Whenever he so much as glimpsed at him.

“Uhhh, how disgusting.” This time, Akira gave his shoulder a shove. “You’re drooling, Shiroyama. Stop fantasizing about your cute little prince and get back to work.”

His cheeks flared up, and Yuu swirled around to kick Akira’s shin. “Cut it out, will ya?” he hissed, looking around them alarmed. Not that he was ashamed of his feelings, he just didn’t need anyone else amongst the staff finding out. Or worse, the king and queen. Or worst of the worst, Takanori. Plus, he knew damn well that he didn’t stand a chance. Worlds separated them, he knew as much. And still, it hadn’t kept him from falling for his master. How utterly foolish. It was bad enough that his friends had found out, he truly didn’t need for word to get out and spread around the castle like any other kind of gossip.

“Why’s Yuu look like a tomato?” Yutaka, one of the chefs joined in.

Akira snorted. “He’s dreaming about getting cozy with Takanori-sama again.”

“Shut up, both of you, or I’ll rip your heads off.” Indignantly, Yuu walked over to the sink, and resumed drying the plates. His friends had always loved to tease him about his feelings, it was nothing new. Yet, it continued to embarrass him. Normally, though, they would only mock him behind closed doors, and not in the middle of the damn kitchen, with lots of other servants scrambling about. Not that their masters would have cared much if they had found out. They would have probably laughed at his infatuation, maybe made some cruel jokes. But in the end, they wouldn’t care. Because they knew as well as Yuu did where his place was. Miles below Takanori, who was completely and utterly out of reach. Still, he didn’t need to live through the humiliation.

His constant heartache was bad enough to deal with.

He crunched his nose as he felt the familiar ache in his chest. He had meant the things he had said to Takanori earlier. He hadn’t felt lonely ever since he had met him. He didn’t mind working for him, being at his every beck and call, as he had put it. He loved it. And yet, it was unimaginably painful at the same time. To gaze at what he could never have day in, day out. However, Yuu was a masochist. How else would he choose to stay by Takanori’s side, the sight of what he desired more than anything omnipresent, both unbearable and at the same time sufficient enough? Just the thought of being able to be near him, to serve him, was more than enough for Yuu. It was as foolish as it was desperate, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help these feelings that seemed unwavering, never withering, never lessening. All they ever did was increase with every day. And Yuu was oddly fine with it.

He would give Takanori his very soul in a heartbeat if he demanded it.

He barely looked up when Yutaka stepped next to him, soaking more of the big pans they had cooked the meals in. “Seriously, Yuu, you should forget about him. It’s not doing you any good.” His voice was soft, his gaze sympathetic.

Yuu’s features hardened at his words. He felt anger flare up inside of him, and put one of the pots down with more force than necessary. “You think I don’t know that?!” he snapped, making Yutaka flinch at his outburst. Then, he took a deep breath to calm himself. Yutaka was right. He knew as much. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried so many times. It’s easier said than done, alright?”

His feelings were more than foolish. Just as foolish as his actions back in the garden had been. He blushed as he recalled how he had stuck Takanori’s finger into his mouth. _Goddamn!_ He couldn’t believe how utterly stupid he had been. Takanori was right. He was pathetic in the way he did his every bidding. No matter that Yuu didn’t care what his master asked of him; it still was foolish. It made his foolish heart ache even more. Made his foolish mind try and interpret things into the whole situation that weren’t true. Of course Takanori had tried to mock him, and Yuu had happily complied. He must have taken him for a goddamn idiot.

Only it was truer than any talk of Takanori being selfish. Yuu could happily accept being called a fool, but he wouldn’t stand for anyone calling Takanori selfish. Not even Takanori himself.

The rough clacking of plates yanked him out of his thoughts, and Yuu’s head jerked around to look at Akira. He had a sour look on his face as he stacked more of the plates on top of each other to stow them away. “Hurry up you two turtles, will ya? I wanna get into bed. This night’s been a real hassle.”

Surprised, Yuu looked around the kitchen. He hadn’t even noticed that the other servants had finished their tasks for the night and had left the kitchen, with only the three of them remaining. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, taking the next pan from Yutaka to dry it.

With a sigh, Yutaka drained the sink as he was done, and yawned. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, Aki. At least the two of you got to watch the show Natsu and the others had prepared for Takanori-sama.”

Yuu and Akira snorted in unison. “It was rubbish,” Yuu hissed. Normally, the shows the Geishas put on were beautiful and awe-inspiring. But this one had been cheap and over-sensualized as hell.

Yutaka looked at him with wide eyes, meanwhile Akira nodded in the affirmative. “Even Takanori-sama looked as though he was gonna throw up any moment. It was cheap and indecent. I talked to Natsu afterwards, she hated it just as much as the next best person. You know.” He made a nonchalant gesture with his hand, but they understood. People like them. And Takanori. People that weren’t part of this stupid, pretentious society. At least not willingly.

With a frown, Yutaka removed the toque from his head. “Really? Aw man, what a shame. But what’re they supposed to do, the king instructed it.” He shrugged. Questionable requests were nothing new, especially not when it came to huge banquets.

Yuu rolled his eyes. “I could’ve done a better job than them,” he said begrudgingly. “It was embarrassing. Natsu’s normally better than that.” He didn’t even realize the mean spirit of his words. Maybe he was too disgruntled about the fact that the king had instructed the Geishas to try and seduce Takanori with such cheap methods. He had been able to read off his face how uncomfortable it had made him feel. Especially since his preference of men was a known secret amongst the inhabitants of the castle. It wasn’t like anyone cared much about sexual preferences as long as an heir would be produced eventually. But the king’s schemes had been nothing but a means to humiliate and mock his son. And it angered Yuu so much – as though the injustice had been done to him. “I can’t believe they put him through this crap.”

“Will you look at that? Takanori-sama’s knight in shining armor,” Akira mocked him with a chuckle. “You sure you’re not just jealous because they got to show him their hip movements and you didn’t?” He wriggled his eyebrows all suggestively.

Feeling his cheeks burn like fire, Yuu threw his towel in Akira’s face. “Fuck off, Suzuki!”

Pulling the towel from his face, Akira burst out laughing. “What, you think you’d have more luck seducing the prince? Your crush on him is as adorable as it is ridiculous.”

At his words, Yuu’s heart dropped to his stomach. His face fell, and he inhaled sharply as he felt a painful sting jolt through his chest. He knew that Akira was right. His feelings truly were ridiculous. Never even in his wildest dreams would Takanori ever want him. He knew as much. Still, getting it thrown in his face like that hurt. “I know, alright?” he whispered. “Do you think I don’t know that?”

“It’s alright, Yuu.” Gently, Yutaka placed a hand on his shoulder to give it a comforting squeeze. He had always been more empathetic than Akira. “You’re a jerk, Aki,” he scolded him with a stern look.

With a grunt, Akira muttered a contrite, “Sorry.”

Yuu just kept staring off into space, looking like a picture of misery.

 

IV

 

None of them were aware of the silent fly on the wall that had caught the last part of their conversation. Motionlessly, Takanori stood in the hallway, back pressed against the wall. His heart was racing so fast, he felt the beat pulsate in his throat and heard the blood rush in his ears. This couldn’t be true, could it? Yuu couldn’t truly harbor any sort of feelings for him, right?

He closed his eyes, pressing his hand to his chest in a futile attempt to calm his racing heart. He had only meant to fetch a glass of water when he had overheard their conversation, and had halted at the door. He had always made it a little fun game to listen in on his servants gossiping; it was when they discarded their masks and showed their true thoughts instead of the professionally polite smiles during work. But this time, he had gotten more than he had bargained for. His mind was racing as much as his heart was, and he tried to make sense of it all. Yuu couldn’t actually like him, could he?

With a silent grunt, Takanori shook his head forcefully to try and rid it of those thoughts. Even if it was the truth – and he doubted very much it was – then there was still no way. It was impossible. Unthinkable. Forbidden.

And yet, the thought thrilled him as much as the fantasy of Yuu swaying his hips to the beat of the music, slowly drawing near as his body seduced him.

_“What, you think you’d have more luck seducing the prince?”_

He shuddered as he recalled Akira’s words, and his cheeks started to burn. Undoubtedly, Yuu would have more luck than any woman. Even amongst countless beautiful men he had always stood out to Takanori. Not just because of his beauty, but because of his kind and gentle soul. Could he truly shame himself for feeling himself be drawn to him of all people? Could anyone really blame him, no matter how forbidden it was?

A noise close to the door yanked him out of his thoughts. Suppressing a gasp, Takanori hurried to the stairs to get back to his chambers as he heard feet drawing near.

Halfway there, an idea struck him. A way to put Yuu’s supposed feelings to the test. His loyalty. His claim to do _anything_ for him. Certainly, his so claimed crush was nothing than a big fat lie. Maybe a joke. Maybe they had noticed him eavesdropping, and had concocted these little schemes to pay him back.

Yet, he still couldn’t stop those words from spinning around in his head. Yuu had sounded so sincere… so hurt. As though he truly did harbor affections for him. As though the thought of never getting him truly did tear him apart. As much as it did to Takanori.

Biting down on his bottom lip, he halted in the hallway, then turned around on his heels and hurried in the opposite direction that carried him into the servants’ wing. He simply had to find out the truth, even if he used ugly methods to get to the bottom of it. He just didn’t know what else to do. And the thought made him feel even more pathetic than the Geishas’ dances had.

Swallowing down his guilty conscience, he stopped as he had reached his destination. Impatiently, he knocked on the door. As he waited and listened to the shuffling of feet and clothes behind the door, he tapped his toes while anxiety seeped through his body.

“Your majesty?” Natsu blinked repeatedly as though she was seeing a ghost. Then, she curtsied clumsily, drowsy from her sleepy state. Without the makeup, she looked much older; even more unbecoming of the kind of dance she had been forced to deliver this evening. But like everyone else in this Godforsaken household, she had played her part without complaints, had simply smiled and acquiesced to her fate.

“I need the key to the costume storage room,” he pressed out hastily.

Natsu looked at him again as though he was a mere hallucination. “At this hour?” she retorted with a look of disorientation on her face. She seemed unable to put two and two together and make sense of why Takanori would demand access to the room the Geishas stored their costumes in.

Not that he needed her understanding. He just needed her key. With the impatience of a child, he stretched his hand out. “Yes. Please, it’s urgent.”

Still confused, she nodded. “Please give me a moment.” She bowed respectfully, then retreated to her room to fetch the key.

Takanori almost yanked it from her hand as she finally returned. “Thanks!” he blurted out, then darted down the hallway before she could get out her goodnight wishes. He sprinted down the dimly lit hallways on tiptoes to makes as little sound as possible in his haste. When he had reached the costume room, he took another deep breath. With shaky fingers, he unlocked the door, and pushed it open. He entered the room, and turned on the light. He looked around for a while, taking in the dozens of hanging rails. Each of them carried the most colorful clothes, from kimonos to Western dresses and skirts of every length.

Heart beating rapidly, he sorted through them quickly to pick out a bunch of clothes.

Then he hurried back, praying that he would make it in time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a little [moodboard](https://twitter.com/dogmaticdeux/status/1081223379947061249) for this story, or more precisely, this part of the story. Feel free to check it out~

 V

 

With an exhausted yawn, Yuu pushed the door to his small little room open. He walked over to his desk in the dim light of the moon which shone through the window, and switched on the lamp. With a content sigh, he lifted his arms above his head to stretch his body. His limbs felt tired, but his mind was still wide awake. Normally, he would fall into bed after such an exhausting evening straight away. Tonight, however, his thoughts kept swirling, making it impossible for his mind to settle down. Repeatedly, he replayed the scene in the garden. Repeatedly, he kept rewinding his talk with Takanori. Their shared looks. Their shared touches. Their shared feelings.

With a grunt, he swirled around to the bed. He wasn’t supposed to read anything into the scene. He oughtn’t do that. Because he knew any kind of hope was even more foolish than his feelings.

However, any and all thoughts vanished from his mind as his gaze dropped to his bed. With a frown, he stared at the foreign clothes that lay on the mattress. On top of them was a folded note. Hesitantly, he picked it up, and looked around the room as though his unknown visitor was still around. He unfolded the piece of paper, and skimmed over it.

 

_Come to my chambers as soon as you’re done with work. Wear these. Don’t make me wait._

_– Takanori_

He gasped. Then, he read the note a second time. A third time. A fourth time. Turned the sheet in his hands to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Anything that would make any sort of sense. Because nothing in this note did. Why would Takanori swing by his room to deliver a hand-written note to him? Why would he ask him up to his chambers in the middle of the night?

Yuu’s heart raced as much as his mind as he tried to understand. Alas, he didn’t. He couldn’t possibly fathom what Takanori was up to. All he knew was that he would follow his instructions like the good little dog he was. Like the dog Akira always mocked him to be; like the dog Takanori had accused him of being himself when they had been in the garden.

Shaking his head, he folded the paper up neatly. He walked over to the small desk, pulled the drawer open, and placed the note between the pages of his favorite book. No matter the ulterior motives Takanori might have had, Yuu would hold onto that note for dear life. It was pathetic, he knew that much. But he couldn’t help it; he was hopelessly in love with him. He would be eternally grateful for every small bone Takanori threw him. And an ominous, hand-written note was so much more than that.

Heart beating erratically, he sorted through the clothes; the frown returned to his forehead. He truly didn’t know what Takanori’s goal was. The clothes looked like something the Geishas would wear, though they seemed to be his size. He would have loved to ask Takanori directly, but there was no way he could do that. Furthermore, his last phrase made Yuu shut off his mind and slip out of his work clothes. He grabbed the shirt, inspected it shortly, then put it on without thinking anymore. It had a pink and blue pattern, which almost looked like flowers. He buttoned it up, then shivered as a slight draft caressed his naked arms, and quickly slipped the black cardigan on as well. Lastly, he put on the long red skirt with the white highlights. The whole outfit was rounded up by a belt in a dark brown.

Skeptically, Yuu picked the last item up. It was a black, partially see-through face mask. He walked over to the wardrobe, studied his reflection in the attached mirror with skepticism, then held the mask up to his face. It made him look exotic, but at the same time, somehow menacing. He wasn’t sure whether he liked that. He was even less sure whether Takanori would like it – whatever he had in mind with ordering Yuu to wear this outfit. For a moment, he regarded himself in the mirror, tugging at the skirt and swirling on his heels. He did look good in those clothes, but he still couldn’t attribute any meaning to any of this. Takanori had never made any such requests before, at least not to Yuu’s knowledge. And word usually traveled fast amongst the Matsumotos’ servants. If any of them had been invited up to his chambers in such an ominous manner before, Yuu was sure he would have caught scent of it one way or the other.

With a shrug, he decided to leave the mask be for now, and instead combed through his hair with his fingers. He contemplated leaving his strands open, but after playing around with them for a while, he decided to put them up in a high ponytail. To round off his look, he braided a few slim strands. Then, he grabbed some eyeshadow to paint his lids black. He liked using makeup, though the servants (with exception of the Geishas) were normally not allowed to wear any during their shifts. Same went for any jewelry that wasn’t necklaces and could get in the way of their work. But now, Yuu didn’t see any reason not to put on some rings and bracelets.

He gave his reflection another once-over, sighed, then looked down at his bare feet. His outfit hadn’t come with any shoes, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to wear any. With a shrug, he decided to go barefoot, just to be safe, and not do anything unwanted. He doused the light before he left his room again. Anxiety weighing down each of his steps, he made his way to Takanori’s chambers.

In front of his door, he halted. His heart seemed to be jumping out of his chest by now. He could barely breathe properly anymore. Nervously, he looked around the hallway, as though to make sure that he hadn’t been followed. How utterly stupid. He was Takanori’s servant after all. And if Takanori demanded him to show up at his doorstep at an ungodly hour, that was precisely what Yuu would do.

Still, his heart kept racing, and his fist was shaking as he lifted it to knock on the door. Trying to swallow down his panic, he took a few deep breaths. He needed to relax. There was nothing to be anxious about. He was nothing but his servant. Even if his request had been an unusual one, he probably had a good reason for it. And if it was to make fun of Yuu to brighten up his own mood.

The thought stung more than he would have ever admitted, and he yanked his fist forward. Weirdly enough, facing Takanori and finding out what exactly he wanted seemed less scary than his own thoughts all of a sudden.

Only a few seconds later, the door swung open. As usual when he saw Takanori, he took his breath away. He was still wearing his black robes with the golden ornaments on his sleeves, and the decorative black-golden ribbons over them, which flowed from his shoulders down to his knees. His hair was tied back in a dark ponytail. His white skin seemed like porcelain, precious and fragile. Yuu felt his heart skip a beat. Takanori was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Immediately, all his doubts got blown away. This man held his whole heart, and Yuu couldn’t find it in himself to ever mistrust him. To ever doubt his intentions. Takanori had one of the purest hearts he had ever seen, and one of the kindest souls.

“You asked for me, your majesty?” He bowed down, feeling his cheeks blush ferociously. He was used to wearing all kinds of kimonos and yukatas, but he had never worn such an outfit. And he still didn’t understand the purpose.

“You took your time,” Takanori whispered in a hoarse voice. He stepped aside to let Yuu enter, who held his breath as he did so. The room was barely lit, with nothing but a few candles illuminating the space. In the background, music was playing silently on a gramophone.

“Please accept my apologies. I wasn’t expecting for you to call for me so late at night. Especially not…” Yuu fell silent, and simply tugged at his skirt as he glimpsed down his own body. When his gaze wandered back up, it was met with Takanori’s frown. “Did I do something wrong?” Yuu asked, his heart skipping an anxious beat at the thought.

“There was a mask as well, wasn’t there?” Takanori inquired.

Slowly, Yuu’s anxiety died down. “Oh.” For a moment, he just stared at him. Then, cheeks blushing, he hastily pulled the mask out. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure… well… actually… I’m not sure what I’m doing here, if I’m being honest.” He lowered his gaze in shame, as though he should have been able to read Takanori’s mind. And wasn’t that basically the duty of a good servant? To know exactly what his master expected of him, without having to ask?

Takanori simply turned around and walked over to a huge armchair held in ruby red velvet. He sat down on it, his face unreadable. “Put on the mask,” he commanded with a dark glint in his eyes.

Obediently, Yuu nodded, before he put the face mask on. It was a weird feeling to have his mouth covered like that; it felt as though part of his whole being was hidden away.

Ever so slowly, Takanori’s eyes took him in; he scrutinized him from head to toe. Then, his eyes flickered back to his face. “Dance for me,” he finally said.

Blinking in surprise, Yuu stared at him. Had he just heard correctly? Had Takanori truly asked him to dance? “I’m… sorry?” he mouthed, confused at the whole situation.

Takanori grimaced. He averted his gaze, staring down at his lap instead. “You said you could do better than the Geishas, didn’t you? I want you to prove it to me. I want you to dance for me.” His voice was barely above a whisper. When he looked back up, his voice was pleading. “Please. It’s still my birthday. I wish for you to dance.”

Yuu was still baffled at his request, although at the same time, a warm fluttering coursed through his stomach. The way Takanori had asked him to dance, almost like a shy little boy, made his heart skip a beat. As though he wasn’t his master; as though he wouldn’t have to follow his every command. Yuu felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile, and he curtsied, spreading the skirt as he did so. “As you wish.” He stepped closer to the armchair, then let his eyes fall shut. Taking a few deep breaths, he listened to the quiet music. He let it flow through his body, and bring it to life. Slowly, he started swaying to the music, recalling the movements he had observed with the Geishas a hundred times.

Quickly, his body fell in sync with the melody, and his feet moved accordingly. He lifted his arms over his head as though he was reaching for the sky, then swirled around once. Twice. Thrice. He smirked as he felt the skirt rush around his feet. A heady liberty took root inside of his body as he moved to the music.

“Come closer,” he heard Takanori groan.

Not halting in his movements or opening his eyes, Yuu inched closer. He just continued to move to the slow music; he didn’t even think about the movements he made. Whether they would please Takanori. Instead, he just _felt_ the music with his soul, and let his body take over the rest.

 _“Stop it.”_ Takanori’s tone was harsh and cut off, and Yuu immediately froze on the spot.

When he opened his eyes, he came upon the most depressed expression he had ever witnessed on his master’s face. As though he was deeply ashamed, he turned his face away, his fingers digging into his dark robes as he clenched his hands to fists. His jaw seemed to tighten as he gritted his teeth, before the tension dropped from it. He didn’t look at Yuu as he spoke. “I don’t get why everyone’s always so fucking eager to dance. It’s stupid and ridiculous. You, the guests… you’re all so zealous to do it. It’s rubbish.” His words were offensive, but his tone was hurt. As though he was trying to provoke Yuu with them – maybe even hurt him. As though the derogative tone was aimed to upset him. But he was completely and utterly failing at it.

Because Yuu didn’t buy any of it. He felt that something was off with his comment. Especially with the hurtful expression on Takanori’s face. And while Yuu had been quite busy down in the ballroom, he couldn’t remember seeing Takanori dance once. Of course the simplest reason could have been that he simply detested it and was mocking Yuu. But he felt like there was something else about it. Something he was missing.

Frowning at the confusing scene, he stretched his hand out to him timidly. He didn’t know whether this was a bright idea, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. “Your majesty,” he whispered to get Takanori’s attention. When he looked up, the most heartbreaking hesitancy in his eyes, Yuu smiled at him warmly. Meanwhile his heart was racing as though there was no tomorrow. “May I have this dance?”

With a gasp, Takanori’s eyes dropped to his outstretched hand. They lingered there for a second, before they returned to his face. His cheeks flushed red, and an angry glint appeared in his eyes. “Did you not hear me just now?” he hissed. “I said it’s stupid. What makes you believe I’d wanna dance with you?” His hands were now starting to tremble, but Yuu didn’t believe it was due to anger.

“I think you’re lying, your majesty,” he answered bluntly, and truthfully. The glint in Takanori’s eyes flickered, but Yuu’s smile was unwavering. “Why, I do not know. But if you truly don’t wish to dance-“ He didn’t finish the sentence, instead began to lower his hand with a deliberate slowness, glaring at Takanori intently.

_“Wait!”_

Yuu suppressed the triumphant smirk as Takanori finally caved. Digging his teeth into his lower lip, he seized Yuu’s hand, and pulled himself up. His cheeks must have blushed just as much as Yuu’s as he stepped into his embrace, placing his free hand on his shoulder. He refused to look at him as Yuu wrapped his arm around his waist, and pulled his body close. He succeeded in holding back the content sigh as he felt Takanori draw close, their bodies touching in the most heavenly way. It was somehow awkwardly, but at the same time there was a tender shyness to it that took his breath away.

Softly, Yuu started to guide Takanori, moving them in the tact of the music. He felt how stiff he was in his arms; if he had not known how crucial dancing lessons had been to his education as the prince, he would have thought he was anxious to be doing it wrong. But he knew that Takanori could dance. Probably better than himself, who had only the most basic knowledge combined with the things he had observed during events like tonight’s banquet. Something else seemed to be holding him back.

Silently, they swayed to the music for a while, with neither saying a word while Takanori kept staring down to avoid his gaze. However, with every passing second, with every turn they took, Yuu felt him relax more and more in his embrace. It fortified the smile on his face, and nurtured the butterflies in his stomach that were beginning to drive him out of his mind. He had often dreamed about just seizing Takanori’s hand and leading him to the dance floor during another one of those parties, but of course he had never dared to. He knew he wasn’t allowed to. But right now, in the confines of Takanori’s chambers, none of that seemed to matter. Not their statuses, not any social rules… nothing but the two of them.

Yuu inhaled sharply when he felt Takanori’s hand glide down from his shoulder to his chest, where it played with the hem of his cardigan. He was still not looking at him, but it felt as though Yuu had somehow managed to breach whatever had held him back before. “You know… not a single person asked me to dance today.” His voice was but a mere whisper, his eyes were still downcast in shame. Hurt lay on his face like an ominous shadow, his eyes had lost all glint. There wasn’t even anger anymore. “They all offered their hand in marriage, but… they couldn’t even offer it for a stupid dance. Not one of them…”

It felt like slow motion when he finally lifted his head up. Yuu’s heart seemed to cease beating as his dark eyes locked with his. The hurt was painfully obvious in his beautiful orbs, and his chest ached at the sight. “Not a single one of them asked me to dance,” he repeated lowly. “No one did… No one but you.”

Yuu’s heart skipped a beat at those words. It skipped another one when Takanori lifted his hand, and traced his forehead with his fingertips, tucking away a silver strand. Involuntarily, Yuu felt himself lean into the touch. He felt his grip around Takanori’s hand and waist tighten, and pulled him even closer. He shuddered at the touch of those soft fingers caressing his skin, wished for the touch to never end. Where it lingered, a burning trail stayed behind; it was a fiery one, but one of utmost warmth as well. His fingertips wandered over this skin as though he was trying to memorize it by touch.

He frowned when he had reached his cheek. With a discontent huff, Takanori yanked the mask away from his face, and threw it to the floor. Then, he continued to explore his face. He caressed his right cheek, then the bridge of his nose, his left cheek, his chin. Eventually, his thumb traced the shape of his lips, which had Yuu shiver at the faint touch. He suppressed a groan as he felt his whole body tremble with want. The urge to lean down and kiss Takanori became unbearable, and he turned his head away abruptly. At the same time, he lowered his arms and stepped away from him.

“I-I’m sorry, your majesty,” he pressed out, his whole body still on edge. He dared not look at him, dared not take in the disappointment he must have inflicted upon him with this rude rejection. But it had been the only thing to do for him – at least the only reasonable one.

“It’s fine.” Takanori’s voice was raw, but he didn’t sound hurt this time. Yet, he still turned his back on him, and walked back to the armchair. He dropped down on it, his gaze steady on Yuu, who now was the one avoiding direct eye contact. “Will you dance for me some more?”

Yuu simply nodded, glad that Takanori didn’t banish him from his chambers immediately. He took a few deep breaths to awaken his body from its stupor, thereby closing his eyes to draw strength from the music. It helped calm down his agitated body, and quickly, he fell back into the same rhythm he had moved to before Takanori had interrupted him.

Feeling his gaze on him, he simply left his eyes shut, and moved his body with the same restraint he had exerted on himself just a few moments ago, when the urge to kiss him had been more overwhelming than ever. His mind threatened to spin out of control at that thought, and he fought against it with gritted teeth. He mustn’t lose control over his body and mind. He absolutely wasn’t allowed to. Not like that. He couldn’t just screw everything like that, no matter how much he wanted to. He had always known how dangerously close to the abyss he was balancing, but he had yet to topple over and fall. And tonight couldn’t be the night when that happened either.

It could never be that night.

He didn’t even realize how his movements got more passionate as he tried to fight his mind and his heartache. He didn’t realize how his twirls got more thrive, or how the swaying of his hips became more and more sensual. His body entranced in his movements, and his mind trapped in his desires, he didn’t even catch the muffled curse Takanori pressed out. What he did catch, however, were his next words. “Take off your clothes.”

His eyes snapped open. Aghast, he stared at him. His mouth fell open, but not a single word left his lips. Had he just heard correctly? “I… I’m sorry what?” he gasped, still struggling to find his voice after the shock.

Takanori gritted his teeth. It seemed as though he wanted to turn his face away again, but this time he kept staring straight at Yuu. There was something dark in his eyes that Yuu couldn’t quite grasp. That he couldn’t quite understand. “Take off your clothes,” he repeated, underlying impatience in his words. “I want you to strip for me.”

Completely dumfounded, Yuu stood there like a deer caught in headlights. Was this a joke? Was Takanori trying to mock him? Was he trying to push his boundaries again like he had been back in the garden? Uncertain, Yuu’s gaze flickered to the bandage around Takanori’s finger. However, he still remained silent. Still struggled to find the words.

Takanori followed his gaze. His face fell as he noticed the bandage. Almost embarrassedly, he shoved his hand beneath his thigh. “You said you’d do anything for me, didn’t you?” he mumbled as he tried to keep an expressionless face. However, his mask slipped for the blink of an eye, revealing the same uncertainty and fear Yuu felt.

The words had been enough to convince Yuu. But the uncertainty, the hesitancy was what gave him the courage, what spurred him on to stop thinking. Takanori was right. He would do anything he asked of him. Because deep down, he wanted to. He wanted to give him his heart, his soul, his everything. Even if all Takanori wanted was his body, he would happily oblige.

“If that’s your wish.” Once more, Yuu bowed. Then, he resumed swaying to the music. This time, he didn’t hold back anymore. This time, he retreated into the darkest pits of his soul, tapped into the desire he had kept locked away for so long. Thinking of nothing but Takanori as he moved, his hips began to sway again. Recalling the Geishas’ moves, he let his hips move sideways, meanwhile he lifted his arms over his head. In an alluring movement, he circled his hips as he crouched down slightly, bending his arms over his head at the same time.

He straightened up again to repeat the movement, painting elaborate circles with his hips and belly. At the same time, he slowly pulled the cardigan off his shoulders. Stretching his arms over his head again, he slipped out of the sleeves, and discarded the cardigan on the floor. He opened his eyes, only to be met with the sight of Takanori licking his own lips as he watched him like a hawk. Yuu felt a wave of want surge through him like a bolt of courage, and he stepped closer with hammering heart. Takanori’s eyes glinted as he put his hands on his shoulders, almost squatting down as he moved his hips seductively. He grabbed his hands, and held onto them, before he placed Takanori’s hands on his hips.

Again, he smirked as he let his hips orbit around an invisible center point, feeling Takanori’s hands heavy on his hipbones. “I’m afraid I need your help, your majesty,” he purred, thereby guiding his hand to his belt. Again, Takanori’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. Then, he undid his belt with nimble fingers. It dropped down to the floor as well, before Takanori’s hand shot up to the hem of Yuu’s shirt.

However, feeling how he had teased him enough for the time being, Yuu retreated from his touch. In mocked regret, he shook his head. After all, Takanori had ordered him to take his clothes off himself. The smirk finding back to his lips, he slowly began to undo the first button of his shirt. Then, he halted, and resorted to circling his hips in appealing movements. Triumph dashed through him as he saw Takanori’s face darken at the delay. Grinning, he decided to have mercy on him (although his pout was unbearably cute), and resumed unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. He shrugged it off, and let it fall to his feet.

Another surge of courage flooded him, and Yuu let his fingertips wander across his chest in a caressing manner. He followed the shape of his collarbones, then traced a line over his chest. His left hand found its way to his nipple, and biting his own lip, he started to stroke his bud seductively.

Takanori gasped at the sight, before he pressed out a low moan. He had obviously tried to stifle it, but failed miserably. Yuu looked at him, his own dick throbbing at the echo of Takanori’s moan. Did his actions really manage to turn him on? Was his body really appealing enough to coax such sweet sounds from him? Yuu was almost unable to believe it. To try and gather evidence, he raised his fingers to his lips, licked the tips shortly, then brought his hand back to his nipple. Again, he circled the bud, but this time he kept staring straight at Takanori.

His face contorted, his eyes seemed to darken even more. His lips parted, and this time he didn’t try to hide the moan as he watched Yuu. Spurred on by the image that would forever be burned into his mind, he let the fingers of his right hand travel further south. While his left hand kept playing with his hardening nipple, his other hand drew a deliberate line down his sternum and over his belly. He felt the movements of his hips as he pressed his hand flat against his stomach. Then, he pushed it down further. Gaze locked on Takanori’s heated face, he snuck his hand below the waistband of the skirt almost calmly. He shivered as he rubbed over his growing erection, and this time it was his turn to moan.

“Do you wanna see what’s underneath?” he groaned, forgetting all of his surroundings. The whole scene felt like a dream anyway. Like he had found paradise on earth. He was too far gone to think about his actions anymore. His primal urges were threatening to take over his whole body, especially his brain. And he didn’t give a damn. All he wanted was for Takanori to keep staring at him with his lustfully glazed-over eyes.

“Show me.” His answer was a dark grunt, a rough and short command. Again, he licked his lips enticingly, the sight of which drove Yuu to the edge of losing his mind. Did Takanori know how utterly beautiful and delicious he looked when he did that?

Smirking victoriously, Yuu pulled his hand back out. Then, he wriggled his hips in a slow rhythm, struggling out of the skirt, which he pulled down alongside his undergarments. Blood rushed into his cheeks as he revealed his erection, but he kept his gaze locked on Takanori. He was intent to catch any and all of his responses as he bared all.

Immediately, Takanori’s gaze dropped to his groin, and he inhaled sharply. Yuu didn’t miss the way in which his hand shot to his own crotch to palm it through the black robes as he bit down on his bottom lip to unsuccessfully suppress the moan. “You’re so hard,” he breathed. For another moment, his eyes lingered on Yuu’s erection. Then, they shot up to his face. “What makes you hard like that?”

In the spur of the moment, Yuu traced a pulsating vein from shaft to tip. Seductively, he rubbed over the head with his thumb. Then, he raised his hand to his lips, and shoved his thumb into his mouth, much like he had done to Takanori’s finger earlier. He pulled it back out with a deliberate moan. Again, he stepped closer, until mere inches separated them. “You do, your majesty,” he confessed without an ounce of shame.

Takanori gasped. “It turns me on when you call me that,” he mouthed, then he licked his lips lasciviously. “Get down on your knees,” he ordered, spreading his legs wide.

Yuu’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected any of it, if he was being honest. But least of all this. He had expected Takanori to command him to play with himself while he watched. To maybe jerk himself off in front of him. But not this. And yet, he felt himself drop to his knees obediently.

Pulling back the robes to reveal his ankles, Takanori lifted one of his bare feet and placed it on Yuu’s shoulder. Then, he grabbed his hand, and shoved it beneath his robes. Yuu inhaled sharply as he placed his hand on his thigh, encouraging him to explore his soft skin. On instinct, he pulled his hand back. He knew that his hands were rough from the manual labor he did. It felt wrong to touch Takanori’s delicate skin like that. “Your majesty, I… I shouldn’t,” he whispered, lowering his head in shame. “I’m not worthy…”

He took him by complete surprise when he cradled his cheek to lift his head up. “You said you’d do anything to make me happy. I want you to touch me. I want you to take care of me.” His voice was nothing more than a whisper. His tone wasn’t seductive, it was almost pleading. For a moment, his hand shot up to his neck, caressing the cross of the necklace Yuu had given him. “I’m tired of being lonely. Won’t you make it stop?” He let go of Yuu’s face to grab his hand again. He placed it on his thigh again, urging Yuu to touch him.

At his words, he felt his heart ache. If Takanori was telling the truth, if he was truly lonely, then who was Yuu to deny him? Who was he to deny him in any way? It hadn’t been noble in the slightest when he had touched himself in such an indecent manner right in front of his master. To his own confusion, Takanori seemed to want exactly that. To his own non-understanding, he was begging him to touch him.

“I’d do anything for you,” Yuu repeated. He bent down, and pressed his lips to Takanori’s thigh. Cautiously, he contributed a row of chaste kisses on the pale skin. Softly, he pushed the robes up to gain better access, meanwhile he grabbed the calf of Takanori’s other leg. Gingerly, he draped his leg over his shoulder, pulling him closer to his own body, while his lips kept caressing his thigh. He felt him shiver below his touches, and a tingling warmth flooded his body.

Almost hesitantly, he hooked his fingers in the fabric of Takanori’s undergarments. When he lifted his pelvis up slightly, Yuu felt a wave of encouragement wash over him. In a slow movement, he pulled them down his legs. Takanori lifted his leg from his shoulder to slip out of his undergarments with one leg. Yuu pulled the fabric over his remaining leg, then tossed it to the ground carelessly. Hungrily, his eyes roamed his legs, wandering upward over his knee of his right leg to his thigh, and then, up to his crotch. He panted as his own cock throbbed at the sight of Takanori’s member. His member, which was equally as erect as his own.

Still doubtful, he reached out to his erection. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around Takanori’s hard-on, who shivered at the touch. He barely suppressed the moan, inched even closer to the edge of the chair – and to Yuu. Still hesitant, Yuu slowly bent down, only raising his gaze as he had almost reached his cock, asking for silent permission. Takanori granted it to him with a nod and flushed cheeks. Throwing his last doubts over board, Yuu pressed a chaste kiss to the tip of his cock. Again, Takanori shuddered. Again, a stifled moan left his lips. Spurred on by this, Yuu began to distribute sloppy kisses allover his length, kissing his way down to Takanori’s shaft. There, he replaced his lips by his tongue, and licked his way back to the tip meticulously, exploring him thoroughly for any weak spots he could find. When he pressed the tip of his tongue to a pulsing vein, Takanori’s hands shot to his hair, and he buried his fingers in Yuu’s strands with an alluring moan.

With a smirk, Yuu continued to explore his cock, slowly making his way up to the head. In a maddening slow pace, he circled his tongue around the tip several times, feeling Takanori tug at his strands more forcefully now. A noise somewhere between a curse and a moan left his lips as Yuu pressed the tip of his tongue against the slit, then he grunted. The sound was more beautiful than any other melody he had ever heard, and Yuu grew addicted to it immediately. Hungry for more, he ran his hand over his length, pumping it once. Then, he pushed the foreskin over the tip of his cock. Looking up to Takanori, who watched him closely, his eyes dark with lust, he nibbled at the foreskin with his teeth. He watched him dig his teeth into his bottom lip as he tried to hold back the moan, and repeated the whole process. He pushed the foreskin back, and wrapped his lips around his cock. Takanori gasped as Yuu took his tip in, and he pulled at his hair again, urging him to take more of him in immediately.

Obediently, Yuu pushed his mouth onto his hard cock, shuddering as he felt him slide across his lips. How long had he dreamed of this? How often had he fantasized about giving his all to pleasure Takanori? When he had thought that he would never be able to? When he had thought that he was unworthy, undeserving? And now, for some incomprehensible reason, Takanori allowed him exactly what he had always hoped for. He didn’t understand any of it, but Yuu was smart enough to not question it and just enjoy the moment.

He gave him a first, almost careful suck. Takanori gasped at the sensation, then jerked his hips forward. Yuu grunted quietly as he pierced the back of his throat, but kept from gagging or retreating. Instead, he gave him another suck. Then, he finally started to bob his head, running his lips along his length as he pushed his mouth onto it repeatedly. From the corners of his eyes, he saw Takanori drop back against the backrest, letting go of his strands as he did so. Unbothered, Yuu kept licking and sucking at his cock, breathing deliberate moans against his cock as he did so. Teasingly, he switched in grazing his sensitive skin with his teeth and tongue in turns, which had Takanori writhe and squirm. His pants grew louder with every suck, and he gripped the armrests tight as he began to meet Yuu’s mouth with the thrusts of his hips.

Still in a daze over the things that were currently happening, Yuu pushed as far down on his length as he could manage, then ran his hand up to meet his lips. He squeezed his erection to stimulate him more, then withdrew his mouth and hand in opposite directions at the same time. Takanori’s back buckled up at the sensation, and a loud moan left his lips. Yuu felt his own cock grow harder with every sound of pleasure he made, but he kept his cock untouched. Takanori hadn’t allowed him to take care of his own needs yet, after all. Instead, he kept focusing on inflicting the highest amount of pleasure on his master, who grunted and moaned at his sucks until Yuu could taste the precum in the back of his throat.

However, before he had the pleasure of making Takanori cum in his mouth, he shot up into a straight position. He placed his hands on his shoulders, and shoved Yuu back. In his passion, his shove was more forceful than necessary, and Yuu toppled over as he lost balance, landing on his buttocks, gazing up at Takanori in anxious surprise. “I want you to do it properly,” he gasped, still in disarray by the blowjob Yuu had just delivered on him. On shaky legs, leaking erection standing proud, he got onto his feet. For a moment, the black robes covered his intimate parts. He tore off the black-and-gold ribbons, then brought his hands behind his back, and quickly undid his robes. Faster than Yuu could comprehend, he stripped out of them, letting them fall to the floor without a care in the world about the clothes’ value.

He walked over to his huge canopy bed with the burgundy sheets. He sank down onto the mattress, cheeks a deep red, and crawled backwards until he was seated in the middle of the huge bed. Slowly, Yuu straightened up as well. His doubts were back, his heart was hammering away in his chest to equal parts filled with anxiety and desire. “Y-your majesty,” he stuttered hoarsely, wiping his swollen lips, “I-I shouldn’t… Someone like me… Someone of such a low degree shouldn’t… I’m…” He didn’t even know why he objected, when in reality, he was craving nothing more than to make Takanori his. Maybe it felt like he was exploiting him, like he was using him to satiate his own needs – no matter the fact that Takanori seemed to want it just as much. It was wrong. What they had done thus far was wrong. But taking him like he demanded of him was crossing a line of no return.

He wanted nothing more than to taste the forbidden fruit when he knew deep in his heart how wrong it was. He was unworthy. He should never be allowed to defile his master like that. Because that was what it felt like – as though he was too dirty, too vile, too worthless.

Takanori grunted impatiently, bestowing a deadly glare on him. “Stop it! You’re not worth less than me, or anyone else. I don’t give a damn about your status. Or about mine. I want you. I want you to want me.” His body began shaking again, this time due to agitation. “You said you’d do anything to make me happy. You have to decide which it will be. Will you fulfill my wish and make me happy? Or will you refuse me?”

Yuu pressed his lips and eyelids together. Of course he didn’t want to refuse him. Of course he wanted to make him happy. But it was wrong. “I’m nothing but a servant,” he picked up his line of argumentation. “I should never be allowed to even touch you, your majesty. No matter how much I want to.” Shamefully, he averted his eyes. He had crossed far too many lines already tonight. “If your father, the king, found out… He… he would have my head on a stake.” Maybe not literally, but Yuu would be done for for sure.

“So you’re afraid? Is that it?” Takanori snapped. His tone made Yuu’s head jerk up and look at him. His voice had sounded angry, but his eyes looked broken. “You’d choose my father and his stupid rules over me? Is that it?” Tears were shimmering in his eyes. “I thought you were different. I thought you gave a damn about me.” He pulled his knees up to his body, curling up as he wrapped his arms around his legs. His body was still shaking, his eyes grew void of any emotion.

The sight broke Yuu’s heart.

But his heart wasn’t all he felt break inside of him. Because so did his will. His resistance crumbled to pieces as he was faced with Takanori’s miserable state. A state he had never seen him in before. Not even in the garden had he looked this vulnerable before. However, his detached expression wasn’t unfamiliar to Yuu; he was well used to it, had been confronted with it a plethora of times before. Each time his parents asked Takanori to sacrifice more of his life and soul to _the greater good_. Each time they demanded he gave up even more bits of his happiness for _the sake of the country_.

Yuu couldn’t bear it anymore. He couldn’t bear to be the source of his detached state.

Feeling his heart ache in his chest, he walked over to the bed and slowly sat down on the mattress. Hesitantly, he scooped over to Takanori. He didn’t even take notice of the fact anymore that they were both completely naked. Not when something far more important than their bodies was being stripped off of all the masks. “I do, Takanori-sama.” Gingerly, he surpassed his defensive stance and reached beyond his arms and knees to cradle his face. “I care about you more than I care about myself. I don’t care what happens to me, I only care about what happens to you if I… if we…” He swallowed, trying his hardest to put the things into words – and failing. He couldn’t voice these things. His desires. Takanori’s desires. He still couldn’t grasp them in the first place. In a reassuring manner, he painted soothing circles on his cheek with his thumb. “Your father and his rules mean nothing to me compared to you,” he confessed, blowing all caution to the wind. He knew that his words could cause him his head, but weirdly enough (or foolishly, as Akira would put it), he trusted Takanori with his life. Trusted him to not rat him out or betray him in any way. “That’s not what I was about when I… refused you. I did because I’m not worthy of you. I never could be.” For a moment, he stared into his eyes, then, he averted his gaze as a burning pain shot through his body. He had always known how unworthy he was. He had just thought that he had gotten to terms with it.

“Well, I’m saying you are worthy of me.” Takanori’s voice was low and soft, as was the touch with which he tucked a strand of hair behind Yuu’s ear.

Hesitantly, Yuu lifted his gaze. Stared at this beautiful face which he had memorized every inch of eons ago. His resistance had crumbled to dust already, so when Takanori took his hand in his and leant back, Yuu followed him all too willingly. Gently, he crawled up between his legs, towering over Takanori. Takanori who closed his eyes and tilted his head. Yuu understood this as a silent permission, and hungrily, he pressed his lips to his neck. The thought of how he defiled him with every touch got blown away when Takanori shivered at the touch. When he leaned into it, burying his fingers in Yuu’s strands to pull him even closer. He roamed his scalp, pulling the band out of his hair that held his strands in a ponytail. His strands flooded down around his shoulders, and onto Takanori’s neck and chest.

Yuu didn’t even notice it. Instead, he focused on painting a trail of kisses down Takanori’s body. Eagerly but softly at the same time, he explored his soft skin, feeling it below the touch of his rough lips. But the hesitation had drained from his body. It got sealed away behind thick walls of stone with every lustful moan Takanori uttered, with every content sigh that left his lips. Greedily, Yuu let his fingers roam over his body unrestrained, stroking the sides of his torso, his thighs, and back up his sides. Meanwhile, he continued to place sloppy kisses on his upper body, working his way down from his neck to his collarbone. He nibbled on it, then replaced his lips by his tongue. He started to paint wet trails allover his chest, but ignored his nipples to tease him even further.

Takanori moaned and grunted beneath him, and Yuu smirked against his silky skin. He didn’t even feel the painful tug at his strands when his master tried to yank his head in the direction of his nipples. As a response, he pushed his hips down slowly, deliberately. But even though he had meant to tease Takanori more, he couldn’t hold back his own moan as their cocks ground against each other. Again, Takanori tugged at his strands, but this time, he tried to get Yuu to lift his head. With a quizzical expression, he looked up at him. His stomach fluttered as he was met with his half-closed lids, his flushed cheeks and his teeth which dug into his bottom lip. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” he mumbled softly.

Not opening his eyes, or reacting to his words in any way, Takanori reached out his hand. For a moment, Yuu thought he was going to grab the sheets for support. But then he realized that Takanori was trying to reach for the nightstand. Shifting his weight to the side, Yuu leaned over him to reach for the nightstand in his stead. “Upper drawer,” Takanori murmured hoarsely. “Hurry.”

Spurred on by his needy voice and words, Yuu pulled open the drawer. He held his breath as he rummaged through it, then found a small bottle. He took it out and looked at it. It was a small bottle of body oil. He shut the drawer, and retook his place between Takanori’s legs. But when he heard Takanori whimper at the sight of the bottle in his hand, Yuu immediately dropped it down onto the mattress. The sound had seemed to be one filled with a terrible anguish, and worry took over his body. “Are you alright, Takanori-sama?” he asked, his voice ridden with concern as he cradled his cheek.

Instead of an answer, Takanori grabbed Yuu’s hand which was holding onto his face, turned his head, then seized his middle and index finger and shoved them into his mouth. Yuu groaned at the sudden sensation of Takanori’s warm mouth cavity around his fingers. When he gave them a suck, he closed his eyes and gasped, grinding his crotch against Takanori’s instinctively.

Takanori sucked at his fingers again, then straightened his head until he looked up directly at him. Thereby, he pulled his fingers out of his mouth, which were now covered in a thin layer of saliva. His eyes were shining with a dark passion that made Yuu shiver, his actions a silent request. Bowing down, Yuu pressed his lips to his neck again, explored his upper body again, kissing his way down over his stomach and then sideways to his hipbone. For a second, he gnawed at it, while his uncovered hand trailed down Takanori’s thigh until it had reached the back of his knee. He lifted his leg up, and stopped his explorations at the same time. Greedily, his eyes roamed over his hard cock, marveling at the sight. Then, he brought his slicked-up fingers down to Takanori’s entrance. Shortly, he caressed his cleft, feeling him writhe under his touch. He returned his gaze to his face as he circled his entrance, before he pushed the first finger in.

Throwing back his head at the intrusion, Takanori gasped loudly. It was the most beautiful sight Yuu had ever seen. He had lain with other men before, but none of them had even come close to the erotic reactions of Takanori’s body. It turned him on so immensely, he felt as though he was going to combust any minute. Biting down on his lip to fight back his own desires, he started to move his finger inside of Takanori. He felt his cock swell more with every thrust his finger did, with every moan Takanori uttered, and Yuu would have been forever content with finger-fucking him like this.

However, a short while later, Takanori’s eyes were back on him again. “More!” he demanded with a throaty moan, pushing himself onto Yuu’s finger deliberately to emphasize his request. Obediently, Yuu added the second finger, and again, Takanori threw his head back in loud moans. Yuu repeated the treatment he had bestowed on him earlier, thrusting into his hot entrance repeatedly. Takanori’s hands started to roam the mattress, holding onto the sheets for support. He was breathing heavily, and Yuu understood that he was trying his hardest to fight off his orgasm. The sight both riled him up and awakened the sadist in Yuu, who crooked his fingers in search of his most sensitive spot. He knew he had found it when Takanori’s head jerked to the side, his hips buckled up and he groaned, gasping for breath. His hands shot up to the headboard of his bed, and he dug his fingers into the wood as Yuu stimulated his prostate with steady thrusts of his fingers, adding a third one to drive him out of his mind.

“Take me,” Takanori whimpered beneath him, his head flailing from one side to the other as Yuu wouldn’t stop pleasuring him with his fingers. “ _Fuck_! I… nghnnnn… need you… in me…!!”

His words made Yuu halt in his torturous play. Slowly, he pulled his fingers out. Takanori seemed to slump together as the sensation of being fucked disappeared, and looked up at Yuu. The desperate need in his eyes was burning as brightly as Yuu’s own felt, and he swallowed thickly. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted him. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved him. It was tearing him apart.

Shivering at his intense feelings, Yuu averted his gaze. He stared down at his sticky fingers, contemplated for a while and then pushed them into his mouth to lick them clean. He felt shivers run down his spine as he tasted him on his tongue, and would have relished in the sweet taste of him forever. However, when he heard Takanori moan at the sight, he quickly pulled them back out. Maddeningly slow, he wiped them on the sheets to give Takanori time to breathe, and come down from the edge again, not rile him up until he came at the mere sight of anything that could stimulate him too much.

When he was done, his eyes wandered over the bed. He grabbed the bottle of body oil, opened it hesitantly and poured some of the viscous lotion onto his hand. Trying to make it look as unappealing as possible to delay Takanori’s orgasm (and his own, since he didn’t think he could survive the sight of Takanori cumming right in front of him), he smeared it onto his hard cock. He shuddered as the sticky lubricant touched his sensitive skin, and averted his eyes hastily. As he did so, he was met with Takanori’s gaze again. Was faced with his most gorgeous face, that appeared even more angelic in the dim light of the candles; his white face only highlighted by his reddened cheeks was framed by disheveled strands of black hair. Sometimes, Yuu had contemplated whether he was the devil with how mercilessly he had seized his very heart and soul and refused to return it to him. However, now that he looked at him, took in even the smallest line of his features, he knew with a haunting certainty that the man before him was an angel.

Someone he was so highly unworthy of.

Like a tsunami, his doubts came rushing back, drowning him in an ocean of anxiety and fear. He lowered his head, unable to stare at his face anymore. Guilt flooded him. Repulsion churned his stomach at the thought of how much he had defiled him already. Of how his rough and dirty hands had touched him so indecently. “I-I don’t think I can do this,” murmured he with crestfallen voice. “I can’t do this to you. You should be with someone who’s worthy of you, someone who…” He fell silent, not even knowing what to say.

Like a predator, Takanori closed in on him. “Like who?” he asked, his voice raspy and tired. Tired of fighting the same fight over and over again. Of getting Yuu to take him in fully; not his body, but his soul. “Like those rich bastards who lined up to kiss my hand as though they were kissing my ass? Like that Takashima Kouyou who practically proposed to me, and who everyone will expect me to marry?” His voice wasn’t accusatory, or angry. It was exhausted. Broken. Like a broken record that spun around and around, never coming to an end, never being put out of its misery. “Who could possibly be more worthy of me than the only person in the whole world who gives a shit about me?” He cradled Yuu’s face in his hands, staring deep into his eyes.

He opened his mouth to object, to refuse again, but he wouldn’t even have found any words had Takanori not pressed his thumb to his lips in order to silence him. Speechless, he remained motionless, as Takanori finally seized the reins. As he climbed into Yuu’s lap gracefully, and reached down to position his cock. He moaned against Takanori’s finger as he felt him wrap his fingers around his cock. The sensation of having Takanori _touch_ him without so much as a second thought affected him more greatly than he had ever been able to guess. When that feeling hit him like a tidal wave, Yuu knew he was doomed to drown.

He had been drowning in Takanori for years now, but at least he had always tried to break through the water’s surface to gasp for air. Now, he didn’t even care about staying alive anymore. He would gladly burn up at the hands of the man he had loved for so long. And part of him felt a twisted sort of pride and triumph wash over him at the thought that he of all people was the one with Takanori tonight. That he was the one he was slowly lowering himself down on, that he was willing to give himself to. Nobody else in that stupid ballroom. No other rich folks who cared more about his name and power than his actual heart. No glorious Takashima Kouyou who certainly saw Takanori as nothing more than a trophy.

Only him.

Yuu groaned as he felt Takanori’s muscles tighten around his cock. In a daze, he gripped his hips to guide him in position, and held him there to support him as his body got accustomed to the intrusion. He gasped as Takanori wrapped his legs around his waist to take all of him in. His hands wandered to his butt cheeks, and kneaded them caringly to help him relax as his own cock throbbed with the unbearable sensation of filling him up. He wanted to do nothing more than smash his lips against Takanori’s, taste him, draw him in. But it still felt forbidden to him, so instead, he buried his face in the crook of Takanori’s neck. Taking in his intoxicating scent, he panted as Takanori slowly started moving atop of him. In a steady and expertise movement, he rolled his hips as though he had been the one to dance earlier, grinding down on Yuu’s cock, who gasped and whimpered as he felt his muscles constrict around him.

Taking ahold of Takanori’s hips with his right hand, he followed the course of his spine up his back with his left hand until he had reached his nape. From there, it wandered to his cheek, cradling it as he lifted his head to stare at him. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest as he regarded Takanori. His eyes were only opened halfway, his cheeks burning as hot as Yuu’s own. His lips, however, were morphed into a weak smile. One that didn’t feel forced for once. One that grew in intensity as Yuu finally started to meet his movements, thrusting into him with more force.

Takanori groaned, wrapping his arms around Yuu’s neck and burying his fingers in his loose strands. Each of his thrusts became more erratic, more uncontrolled, and yet the passion and hunger in which he rode Yuu grew with every passing second. As though he had been starved just as much. As though he had craved it for as long as he had. The thought threatened to split Yuu apart, and he pressed his forehead against Takanori’s, closing his eyes as he did so. He still didn’t dare kiss him, and Takanori didn’t make any move to do so himself. But no matter how much he craved to join their lips, what he wanted even more was to fulfill Takanori’s wishes.

Though he couldn’t solely focus on that anymore as Takanori cramped his muscles around his cock to stimulate him further. He let out an unbridled moan, then tried to hit his prostate. However, the position they were in proved to be suboptimal, so instead, he seized his hips, and straightened up onto his knees with Takanori still attached to him, his cock buried in his entrance to the shaft. He bent down, carefully lowering Takanori onto the mattress, and repositioning himself between his legs. Takanori sighed at their adjusted position, but clung to Yuu as though he was desperately trying to keep himself from drowning.

Having gained more mobility with their switch of position, Yuu finally started to thrust into him; his first thrusts were still loving and gentle, but their force increased quickly, until he was pounding him into the mattress mercilessly. The placid smile on Takanori’s face faded as his lips pressed out a row of moans at the changed treatment bestowed on him. Digging his nails into his hipbones, Yuu just continued to fuck him fast and passionate, unable to fight back his lust anymore. He had wanted him for so long, he could barely hold back anymore. With deep grunts, he penetrated Takanori’s sweet spot repeatedly, which had him squirm beneath him in arousal.

Yuu felt warm cum splutter between their stomachs only milliseconds before he felt himself fall, felt his own orgasm roll over him at the sound of Takanori screaming out his name in ecstasy. It sounded like heaven on earth.

Feeling his body give way, Yuu managed to catch himself with his arm before he slumped down on Takanori. Panting heavily, head spinning from his overwhelming orgasm, he pulled out of him, and dropped down onto the mattress next to him. He closed his eyes, smiling to himself as the bliss of his orgasm eradicated all feelings of doubt and unworthiness from his soul. The knowledge that he alone had made Takanori cum this hard, that he was the reason why he gasped for breath so desperately, made him feel lighter than he had ever imagined he could feel. His heart was racing, a whole swarm of butterflies was dancing around in his stomach. He had never thought to be allowed to share this kind of intimacy with him. He had never thought Takanori would ever want him like that in the first place.

But the state he was currently in clearly spoke otherwise.

At least on a physical level, Yuu had been good enough for him. And that knowledge seemed to give him wings. He didn’t even feel the exhaustion in his body as he sat up. He combed through his hair with his fingers, feeling strands stick to his sweaty forehead. For a second, he glimpsed at Takanori, who was still shivering, and trying to come down from his orgasm. His heart skipped a beat at that beautiful sight of his prince all disheveled and stripped of any form of self-control, and his smile brightened. He stood on shaky legs, and hurried over into the adjacent bathroom.

There, he grabbed a washcloth, filled the sink up with lukewarm water, and cleaned himself up. Then, he took another washcloth, drenched it in the water as well, and wandered back into the bedroom. The sweaty smell of sex filled the room, and he shuddered pleasantly. Takanori still lay on the bed unmoving as he sat back down beside him. Carefully, he brought the cloth to his stomach, which startled Takanori. “It’s just me,” Yuu hummed happily, mind too blissful to occupy itself with painful thoughts of any sort. Of the consequences of their heedless actions. Of the thought that certainly, this had been a one-time only thing. Of how Takanori would never allow this sort of thing to happen again. None of these thoughts crossed his mind as Takanori looked up to him briefly, only to close his eyes again. Gently, Yuu cleaned his milky skin of every last trace of cum, until he was as spotless and flawless as ever. Though for the first time, Yuu didn’t feel shame as he cleared away any evidence of how he had stained him.

He felt a weird pride.

And unspeakable happiness.

When he was done with cleaning his master up, he put the washcloth on the nightstand, and covered him with the blanket. Takanori was still unresponsive, clearly exhausted from the day. Yuu was okay with it. The peaceful expression on his face was solace enough, although he couldn’t help but tuck a black strand out of his forehead and behind his ear. He still wanted to kiss him. He still didn’t dare to.

“Is there anything else you need me to do, your majesty?” he whispered in a low voice.

Takanori’s eyes shot open and he looked at Yuu in silence. Something unreadable shone in his eyes (if Yuu didn’t know any better, he had thought it to be hurt), and he narrowed them as he gazed at him. Voicelessly, Takanori shook his head, then turned his face away.

Not knowing how to take his silence, Yuu bit down on the inside of his cheek as he felt his heart sting in pain. He knew he should have expected for Takanori to give him the cold shoulder once they were done. Expecting anything else was a fool’s errand. It was stupid and pathetic, and Yuu had always known it to be. Swallowing down his hurt as best as he could manage, he got back onto his feet. He took the washcloth, and returned to the bathroom to clean it and hang it up to dry. Then, he stowed the body oil back in the drawer of the nightstand. Finally, he started to gather up his clothes and dressed. He folded Takanori’s robes up and placed them on the armchair.

When he was done, his eyes lingered on Takanori, who had his back turned to Yuu, still silent as though he was sleeping. Though his body was too unmoving to be asleep. It was as though he was holding his breath, waiting for Yuu to disappear and leave him alone.

Not knowing how to cope with his distancing demeanor, Yuu walked over to the door. At the door, he turned around one last time. “I’m sorry if I did you wrong,” he said, clueless about how to take the shift in Takanori’s behavior. “I understand if you regret what happened. I won’t speak to anyone about it. I’ll forget it happened if that’s your wish.” His own words stung so bad, seemed to rip open his chest and carve out his heart with excruciating agony. Of course he would never be able to forget what just happened. He would take the memories of it to the grave. Trying to ignore the crippling pain at these thoughts as much as possible, he bowed deeply. “Goodnight, your majesty.” He turned around to the door, gripping the handle with trembling fingers.

“Do you regret it?”

The muffled question made him halt in his tracks. Slowly, he turned back around to the bed. Takanori had sat up and was now staring at him; his face was contorted in sadness, his eyes seemed broken. If at the thought of Yuu regretting it or something he couldn’t grasp, he didn’t know.

“No, of course not,” was the immediate reply. “I would never regret it.” He felt his cheeks burn at his confession, and fought tooth and nail against the urge to lower his head in shame. “I just thought you did. I… I could understand if you did. I just wanted you to know I won’t be causing you any trouble. I could never.” Again, he bowed as to underline the sincerity of his words.

Takanori stared at him in silence, blanket wrapped around his small frame tightly. Only his right shoulder peaked out, setting a stark contrast to the dark red of the sheets with its bright white. “Why’d you do it?” was his next question. “Why… why do you do anything I ask of you without questioning?”

Yuu frowned. “Because I want to, I told yo-“

“I want the truth!”

Yuu’s frown deepened at Takanori’s agitated words. “That is the truth, your majesty. I would do anything for you.”

Takanori shook his head as though he didn’t believe him. “I know, you said so before.” His gaze returned to his face, and the same dark glint was in his eyes. Desperation was written all over his face. A desperation that clawed at Yuu’s heart much more than any of his own despair ever could. “But why? Why would you do anything for me? Why did you… why did you do all these stupid things I asked of you tonight? Why don’t you ever even complain about them? Why do you just go with them? I don’t understand, I-“ He shook his head, a muffled sob leaving his throat.

That quiet sound of his deepest despair was what broke Yuu. Was what stripped him of all his defenses, of all his barriers. Not that he had had many of them when it came to Takanori in the first place. But the more he looked at his desperate expression, the more aware he got of the tears shimmering in his eyes, the more Yuu understood that he did indeed owe him the truth. Nothing but the truth. Maybe he also owed it to himself. Maybe that way, he would finally be free. No matter that Takanori would never reciprocate his feelings. No matter that even if he did through some cruel twist of fate, they would never have a future together.

As realization dawned on Yuu, he felt a weird calmness fall over him like a curtain. It soothed his aching heart, suppressed his agony and his better judgment to keep silent. He knew keeping silent wasn’t an option anymore. Not with the way Takanori doubted him. And maybe that was the worst; the thought that after everything, Takanori still doubted him. That thought was simply unbearable to Yuu. More unbearable than to keep it all in, to keep quiet and never speak of his feelings, no matter what.

“I do because I love you.” As though he was explaining the simplest mathematical equation in the universe to Takanori, his voice was calm and steady. Unlike his hands that were shaking like crazy. When he saw his eyes widen in shock, Yuu somehow found the courage to take a step back into the room. Takanori looked so goddamn surprised. Appalled even at the thought that Yuu could love him. That anyone could truly love him. He looked surprised, but not disgusted. And that was the driving force that encouraged Yuu to take another step forward. To speak again. “I have loved you since the very first moment I saw you. When I arrived at this castle and asked for work… when your parents refused me but you stepped in. When you argued with them just to have me stay here and give me a chance at work… a chance at life. I… I fell in love with you that very moment.” His face heated up, and he cast his eyes down, the burden of his confession was starting to weigh him down. It hurt to think back about how long he had loved him. And how long he would continue to love him. “I know I don’t ever stand a chance. I’m not foolish enough to hope. I know my place. But still, I never regretted it. Any of it. I will love you until the day I die, and I know that when this day comes, I will part from this world without a single regret. I will never regret loving you.”

At the end of his confession, he finally dared to look up again. He was met with Takanori’s incredulous expression as tears streamed down his face. He didn’t even seem to notice. He just stared at him speechless, unable to say a single thing. Yuu himself felt just as incapable of breaking the silence that had started to linger after his confession. His heart was screaming in agony, begging him to run away, to flee, maybe even turn his back on this castle as a whole. But he knew far too well that he could never do that. No matter what, he would always stay right by Takanori’s side. Right where he belonged.

“Are you… not gonna say anything?” he finally breathed as the silence got too much to bear. “Are you not gonna… tell me to get the fuck out? Tell me how disgusting I am?” _How you could never love someone like me?_

Takanori’s eyes grew even wider in shock. Still, he remained silent. But unlike his voice, his body did not stay frozen. In the blink of an eye, he jumped to his feet, blanket still wrapped around his torso. He rushed over to Yuu, one hand holding the blanket together before his chest while the other seized the nape of his neck. Still keeping up the silence, he smashed his lips against Yuu’s in a passionate kiss.

Gasping, his eyes first grew wide, before his eyelids shut and he returned the kiss in the same ardent desire he could taste on Takanori’s lips. His lips which wiped away any and all of the tears in his heart his feelings for Takanori had edged into it. Taking him into his arms as gently as possible, he tilted his head to relish in the sensation of their lips uniting, of tasting the most forbidden of all the fruits. Because no matter how passionate their kiss was, it wasn’t about sexual desire. He could taste it in the salt on Takanori’s lips from his tears as their tongues found each other.

It was about Takanori accepting him.

The realization overwhelmed him, and Yuu sighed into the kiss, then broke it as his feelings were too much for him to bear any longer. Shaking with an indescribable happiness, he pressed his forehead against Takanori’s, taking deep breaths to not choke on the butterflies that were now swarming his whole body. He opened his eyes, and stared directly into Takanori’s dark orbs, which radiated a warmth that made him shiver. Without thinking, Yuu pressed another tender kiss to his lips, one that Takanori reciprocated with a hum. When their lips parted, the most breathtaking smile illuminated Takanori’s face. Overwhelmed at the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed, Yuu cradled his face. Stroked his cheeks as he mesmerized in the smile that made his heart race in his chest. He had always known he would love his genuine smile as much as everything else about him. He had just never even hoped to ever witness it.

Gnawing at his lower lip all shyly, Takanori caressed his cheek. Yuu leaned into the touch, which felt just as surreal as everything about this night. And yet, he was as happy as he had never been before in his life. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake from it. He wanted to be stuck in it forever and ever. His own personal heaven.

“Come back tomorrow night,” Takanori whispered against his lips. Then, he gave him a chaste kiss. “I want to see you again, Yuu.”

Shivering in the most pleasant way as he pronounced his name, Yuu nodded. Then, in the spur of the moment, he dropped down to his knee. He grabbed Takanori’s hand, pressed it against his forehead for a moment before he brought it to his lips and placed a tender kiss on it. He would never be able to put the unspeakable happiness he felt into words. But maybe, he didn’t have to. Because Takanori was giving him the chance to show it to him again. To prove to him just how much truth his feelings held. Just how much he loved him. More than that, he was giving him the chance to experience the same overwhelming happiness again the next night.

And Yuu would show him just how grateful he was to be granted this opportunity.

Overjoyed, he pressed another kiss to the back of his hand.

“Your wish is my command.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh well that's it (for now). Hope you guys enjoyed it T-T


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